I Wish I'd Known Roger Molander

Sometimes I read the obituaries.

Often these columns describe important peoples’ lives in such a way that I learn about contributions they’ve made that really need to be celebrated.

On April 1, Roger C. Molander, a nuclear protest leader, passed away. I truly regret that I’d never heard of or known him. Here’s part of an article he wrote in the Los Angeles Times in 1982, about creating peace between America and Russia, that is sure worth more publicizing:

So bring on the Russians...try their vodka, listen to their music, read their novels, watch them dance. Maybe take one to lunch and start a conversation on a topic of mutual interest. Try “the fate of the earth,” for starters.

I am going to “Google” Roger Molander to learn more. When he heard a Navy captain say that “only” 500 million people would be killed in a nuclear war, he realized that the “technical priesthood,” his term for the nuclear war experts, could not alone be responsible for maintaining the fragile relations between the two nations, because they clearly failed to grasp the true emotional consequences of that staggering loss of life. He suggested that instead, ordinary Americans and Russians needed to spend most of their time talking on the human plane about their kids, grandkids, friends and their responsibilities to future generations.

Hurrah!

Keeping our attention focused on one another’s humanity and inherent value is a prime component of creating peace between people. After years of research, discovery and taking histories of people all over the world, I have concluded that attention is our primary need. Everyone needs and wants to be seen, listened to, valued, respected, supported, honored, and connected to others. Peace between people is created when people feel safe with each other, feel that they matter to each other, can trust each other and can count on each other.

When we realize that we really all want the same things in life, we can realize that we’re all connected and the same – color doesn’t matter, ethnicity doesn’t matter and wealth doesn’t matter.

Recently I came across a very clear list of ten ‘plague-like’ man-made destructive forces that kill relationships and prohibit peace between people:

Apathy,

Envy of others,

Intolerance,

Persecution,

Injustice,

Poverty,

Violence,

War,

Exploitation of others, and

Deafness to cries for help.

This is the first time I’ve seen such a list, and it’s as if it has solidified my thinking about attention. This list of ten things actually describes the different ways people act out to get the attention they need, often at the expense of peace and planetary harmony.

At the top of the list is Apathy, which is lack of interest or concern: indifference. Apathy is a terrible state of mind: it’s an energy killer, and yet it appears to be taking over our human spirits as a result of the enormous amount of suffering and injustice in the world. We need to pay attention to our tendency toward apathy, call it out and banish it for good if our world is to survive.

This is a serious contemplation for me to have on a lovely spring day, but it needs to be had and shared. And it all came about because I read page 24 of the New York Times on April 1, 2012!