Inauguration Day Tears

I have wept today, during the Inauguration and after. My tears, I think, were of relief, of knowing I was witnessing a special, integrated, brilliant man become our 44th President. He is so present, can let his vulnerability show and be spontaneously appropriate.

I have read his books, so I know he’s taken his time to figure out why he is who he is. That’s important to me. He can only be a better husband, father and President by coming to grips with his emotional and inherited baggage. We all have it and sometimes I think that our baggage is interacting with everyone else’s baggage. He’s paid enough attention to his that it doesn’t weigh him down; everyone knows about it. How healthy! What role-modeling for the rest of us.

When he acknowledges his feelings, as he did about Ted Kennedy’s departure for medical reasons at the Congressional Luncheon, he connects to us. That is so refreshing. Indeed, he’s bringing change to America on all levels. He’s showing a sensitivity to people that is thrilling. He reached back to honor the Black WWII airmen by inviting them to Washington; they were genuinely overwhelmed to be so remembered.

He is openly affectionate with his family, he shares his wonderful sense of humor with us, as he did during his service work to honor Martin Luther King Day, and tells us that he is taking all of us into the Oval Office with him. I feel both lucky and grateful to have been able to spend part of my day today in front of my TV set. I don't usually do that...

Female Mavens Unite

I hereby commit to creating a new community via my upcoming Web site:
Female MavensandMoguls.com

I've recently discovered that new title for myself - I feel, and that's important, that I have sufficient wisdom, experience and expertise to qualify; I know there are hundreds of others in the same position. We are over 50, probably parents and grandparents and have spent mega time volunteering for events, services, people, places that we hold dear and which are necessary to maintain our humanity. I must add that it's not necessary to be a parent.Some of us have had huge careers and been well paid, others of us have worked for free because we have been called to, others have done both.

Our world now needs us more than ever, to step up, to shout out, rationally, what we have learned...the lessons we've had to encounter and handle...there's much positive energy here which, I believe, needs to be harnessed and used to bring new adulthood and wisdom to the world --- to mentor, to use another word --- people and places that are in need of support, cheerleading and a smile.

Smiles connect people. They make the one being smiled at feel that someone sees them, connects with them, and sends them good vibes. Smiles don't have to cost anything, we never run out of them if we want, and they're a way of greeting another whose language we don't speak. A smile is an instant form of communication. Morever, when we give people the kind of attention they need, they instantly smile back. I wonder if you've ever noticed that?

I am going to see how many smiles I can give out today. I hope I give too many to count.

More to come.....

Miracles Are All Around Us, When We Pay Attention

First miracle of today was just watching an unbelievable video:
www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html.
I will just tell you it's about a young legless, armless man who made the audience (and me) laugh and cry and certainly begin to wonder how much more we can do in our lives!

Yesterday's miracle: a man found me on an Internet site, wrote me a letter achnowledging what I was doing; we met for lunch and sat talking for three full hours. I have never met another person who reflects back to me so clearly the results of my perspective on attention. He is thirty years younger than I am, is black, has a widely listened-to radio show and has won several Grammeys for his editing work. He's also written a book for and about his 6 year old daughter.
He told me a story: One night he was driving on a freeway and his Mercedes car just ran out of power; he managed to glide to an off-ramp and to cross a busy street to take the only remaining parking place. People were going and coming in front of a bar. No one stopped to ask if they could help.

Finally, a homeless man with shaggy blond hair appeared out of nowhere. He asked what the problem was and lifted the hood, said he'd go to look for a mega-sized paper clip and return. He did, wrapped the clip around something in the engine and insisted that they take a ride to see if the car was fixed. It was. They rode around four blocks and my new friend asked his "angel" how he knew exactly what to do...he said he'd been a Mercedes mechanic, had had a wife and child and had had lost everything, when his house burned down with his family in it; he was now homeless and living in a box. Unfortunately, they never met again; the paper clip stayed in place boosting the car's power for as long as he owned it.

Today is my second son's birthday. When he arrived, I thought he was a miracle, for I had been a rather unhappy only child and now my oldest son had a brother.

I am silenced by the awe I feel for the support I receive from The Universe!

My Holiday Agenda Was Full of Movies.

I have to admit I was an avid movie goer during this past holiday season. All of the movies gave me food for thought, showed lots of humanity and brought very fine actors to various depths of demanding roles and gave us some meat!

The needs people have for attention was explored in every single film.

I thought that Milk was terrific and handled an incendiary issue with great respect by showing how well people worked together to gain attention for equality, civil rights and recognition. I felt Gran Torino explored the issue of people of different cultures learning that everyone really has the same needs to feel safe, honored and respected. Doubt certainly provoked much thought and great conversation with others: do we ever feel so totally strong about something that even we can ultimately come to doubt ourselves? Frost and Nixon certainly had me squirming in my seat, as I watched both main actors go through their personal trials.

The French movie, The Class, brought a sense of the real challenge of teaching teen-agers from various ethnic backgrounds, and I ended up having quite a dramatic conversation with a colleague about the teacher's role. I thought the kids were impressive in both their honesty and spontanity.

Last Chance Harvey showed that a rather unconscious man can wake up, grow up and start dreaming again. And Marley and Me brought honest marriage issues to the film as well as the truly emotional role a pet can contribute and demand in a family. Even Jim Carrey's movie Yes, Man provided a theme to contemplate! All in all, it was a very good season. And there were examples of good and bad attention in every film!

I've heard that colds are really unexpressed tears!

I've had the worst cold for the past three days; I actually got it on New Year's Eve, but then I thought I was allergic to something...I've given myself lots of R&R, soup and reading...but all the while I've been thinking about why I needed to get a cold at all.
I've been really upset with the Madoff saga, for I know how much we need generous donors for our various non-profits at this time. That one man destroyed a whole system, practically; the outreach of his greed, "sociopathness" and limited social thinking boggles my mind, and I can't get over his inhumanity to man - that's what really bothers me, and I should have cried about it. They say that people trusted him, they liked to be in his company, they say that he had had a good track record.
Neither his sons nor his brother knew what he was doing. Why didn't the SEC act on some red flags that were presented to them by some financial people who recognized that the numbers didn't make sense. Whatever, whoever???
I still feel like weeping for the values this story tells. Simply, people were not paying enough attention!!!

In the end it's the thought that counts...

The 2008 holidays have come and gone; I am left wondering how many people got the kind of attention they really wanted...Did they get the kind of gifts they wanted? Did they get included in special events and with special people? Did they get to feel that their families really cared about them?
I got a truly thoughtful and special gift from my family this year. Two of my sons, one of my daughters-in-law and my youngest granddaughter sat around my dining table for several hours, while we all plotted out my 2009. What would I need to organize my year? What would it take for me to finish my book, to move part-time to New York? They even gave me homework to do, which I did and sent them for their review...Their gift to me was their time, their sensitivity, their awareness of the kind of support I needed. I was truly impressed, inspired and grateful. And that's a gift which keeps on giving, for I have a view of what I want for 2009 and am organizing it more every day!
I also got wonderful soap and chocolate bars, both of which are very high on my favorites list.
And I gave really good presents this year, for the recipient's reactions were honestly gleeful!