High Heels, Oscar's Red Carpet and Research

I have to admit that I really wonder about what young women are wearing on their feet these days. I was at a shoe repair shop the other day to buy some laces, and a darling gal put two pairs of shoes on the counter to be fixed. She told the repairman that the heels, which were at least six inches high, needed fixing. When she wears these shoes, her feet have to feel like they're in toe (ballet) shoes.

Now I've heard that sometimes when these wearers take their shoes off, they can't get their heels to touch the floor. I can only groan and think of the ancient Chinese custom of foot-binding, where little girls' feet were tightly bound to make them look small and dainty. They did this to please the men in their lives and ended up being crippled for life;  I wouldn't be surprised if the same fate awaits the most avid heel-wearers.

I was actually delighted to hear that one of the Oscar night celebrities posed for pictures in her (extremely) high heels, then took them off as soon as she could, and spent the rest of the evening walking around in her bare feet! Did you catch that moment?

I know that I am not the only one wondering about this phenomenon. The medical profession is even talking about the damage that these shoes are causing, along with flip flops, a shoe fashion that returns every summer. Both kinds of shoes negatively affect posture and can even have an effect on your nerves. I'm not surprised that this is the case. If your feet hurt, you generally hurt all over, and the pain could extend to your insides. There are people trained today who can diagnose more serious internal problems by testing parts of a person's feet. Best we all pay attention to them.

And that's not all - doctors are now speaking out about the tight jeans that women wear. They say that if you have to jump up and down to struggle into them, they're too tight and may be causing damage to leg nerves and other structures. 

Here's my memo to all women, young and old alike: Paying attention to how all our body parts feel and how they're functioning is vital in maintaining our overall health as we get older, and it serves to prevent unnecessary physical problems. And if we're paying attention to what our bodies are telling us, then at what point do we finally stop dressing to impress others? When we come to realize that we're hurting ourselves by being endlessly seduced by the fashion parade in the media, what will it take to stop?

Introducing The Attention Factor Tee Shirt!

I just wanted to take a brief moment to announce something I'm very excited about: the launch of my Attention Factor Tee Shirt on eBay!

Proudly proclaim your love of positive attention with this snuggly 100% cotton shirt, available in sizes S-XL. Isn't it cute? Click here:

The Attention Factor Tee Shirt on eBay

Order yours today, and send me your thoughts!

Connection Is Worth Everything

I saw the movie The Vow the other night and could see it over and over. The movie tells the true story of a couple who wrote a book about their vow and loved each other enough to live through uncharted medical territory to recoup their lives.

Why do I say I could watch it over and over? I say this because the energetic connection between the two stars was palpable, and that is welcome in a time when more and more people are disconnecting from each other, spending more time on their cell phones and computers than with each other.

I see people show up at dinner, put their cell phones on the table and not say a word to each other. The other night, there was a family - mother, father, and teenage son - across from me at a restaurant, and the only words they spoke the whole time were when they ordered their food. What a pathetic situation. The space around them was so heavy!

I think about the concept of connection a lot, because it means so much to me and it feels so good.

I also think about the state of  'not knowing,' or not being completely connected to someone, and how that feels. I first encountered that with my mother. When my Mom did not know where I was or what I was doing, she felt so out of control, she could barely handle it. I watched and absorbed this. She actually told me that she was going to call the police once, when she felt this way. That was the era before cell phones, but I was an adult and had only stopped at the grocery store, making me a little later than usual in arriving at her home.

So, somehow, I've picked up that energy in my own life and am working to let it go...that energy that makes me uncomfortable when I don't know what's happening in a situation that I'm in, when I don't have all the answers. Even writing about it makes me feel better.

Feelings are feelings, we all have them, and when we're healthy, we honor them. Best of all, we learn to communicate them, so we don't have to stuff them down and drown them with drugs, alcohol or other destructive behaviors. This is all part of my work with The Attention Factor: learning to pay attention to how we feel, how we act and how we call attention to our need for a solution.

If only Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and so many others could have discovered what kind of attention they needed and learned how to ask for it - wouldn't they be alive today? Do you know what kind of attention you need, and how to get it?

Let's welcome our feelings and get this all-important conversation started.

www.TheAttentionFactor.com

I Love to Go to The Garbage !!!

I've  discovered two places where I really enjoy going as part of some of my daily routine.

Over the years people have laughed at me when I've said, " I'm going to the Post Office." They've asked me why, when there's a Mail Box on the corner or I could stick it in my door to be picked up.  I go because I know that I'm completing a task; I have finished something. This just plain feels good to me.

So, when I go to the garbage location down the hall, I have also finished cleaning up, cleaning out and/or straightening up. That also feels good.

I had a friend once who loved to iron, because she could finish something. I totally understand that and I do not iron.

There is always so much to do every day and more always keeps arriving: e-mails, internet 'duty', creative writing, videoing, texting, reading newspapers and magazines, making phone calls, running errands, social living, family living, personal living, shopping, eating, etc.

I don't wonder at all about my need to feel that I am completing some thing every day. I'm not alone, for most people I talk to these days are expressing their over-whelm with all they have to do. I sometimes wonder if there are any commercials, yet, advertising a medication to get rid of our feeling we have to do it all.

I am recommending consciously balancing our lives these days by paying attention to the choices we make.
I'm practicing this more and more;  I don't know if I'll ever be perfect.

For more, visit www.theattentionfactor.com!

We've All Got to Learn to Say "NO!"

I have been saddened by Whitney Houston’s recent death. I’ve listened to commentators, family remarks and read statements she herself  made over the years.

It seems that this gifted, famous, successful woman wanted to quit the life she’d created for herself. She wanted to be “normal,” hang out with her daughter, escape the throngs, and settle down to be a Mom.

She had issues like so many others have, like not feeling ‘good enough’ or feeling insecure about where we are in life. These feelings can creep into us even when we’re appearing to be very financially successful, with a worldwide reputation and followers who adore us and send our songs to the top of the music charts.

Only we know our personal pain, and often we can’t tolerate how we feel. Evidently that’s what happened to Whitney, driving her to take all the drugs she felt she had to take. I wonder why she couldn’t ask for help from those around her, the kind of attention she really she needed and why she couldn’t say ‘no more.’ She wanted to stop; she’d planned a new routine to clean herself out and up. She needed a very special kind of attention, which unfortunately she couldn’t or didn’t get.

While she poisoned her body with all the chemicals she took, I think she died of a broken heart.

For more on the power of Attention, visit www.theattentionfactor.com.

We Must Promote Men Learning to Feel Their Feelings.

The other night I went to see one of the Human Rights Watch's Film Documentaries.  Whenever, I choose to attend one of their  presentations, I walk away knowing much more about the human condition than I thought I knew. This was their 22nd year of showing stories of human resilience, from around the world, of  issues that grip our time.
This year, filmmakers excelled in showing the power and influence of the media on human rights, a timely enough topic.
I saw Better This World, about two boyhood friends from Midland, Texas, who wanted "to make their world a better place"; they decided to protest the Republican Party's 2008 Convention. Of course, they met an older more experienced "revolutionary" who guided them in planning to do more than they intended.

As the movie moved along, I got more uncomfortable, as I realized that they were beginning to feel that perhaps they were in over their plans and were beginning to feel uncomfortable about the direction their new older friend was taking them. I don't want to spoil the story, except to say that both young men have been through the troubling court system, did nothing to bring the wrath of the FBI down upon  them and to be called terrorists. They have both been in jail.. In fact, one of the men is still incarcerated.

I was left with the feeling that our culture has failed our young men. We have intimidated them from connecting to their feelings. We have told them not to cry, to dismiss their inner, intuitive feelings of discomfort.These two were actually seduced by the older, more sophisticated  'revolutionary', who turned out to be a paid professional.  These two friends were caught in a web of dishonesty and manipulation from the first step they took 'to make their world a better place'!

This is a true story and it is a shattering one. It deserves to get the attention it warrants, to be seen by those who can't act on their inner feelings, who continue to dismiss their warning systems to turn away from what can turn out to be a disastrous path.

Just Thoughts on Attention, the Weather, and Stilettoes.

Sometimes I have so many things I want to write about, I don’t know where to start. I think I’m in some kind of ‘overwhelm.’ I know I’m not alone, for I’ve been in more and more conversations where this state-of-mind comes up in conversation, along with the over use of cell phones, the excessive number of e-mails we all are getting and the way our kids text each other, even when they’re sitting almost on top of one another...

And one of my dearest, oldest (in time) friends just left after staying with me for four weeks. She came from a six month stint in France, where she supervised some property repairs for friends, which gave her knees further reason to scream out for their own repairs.  Here in NYC, she endured the medical journey necessary to schedule double knee surgery in July. I played a new role for me, the best kind of sister, I hope – intentionally giving her the space and support she needed, the kind of attention I would have wanted in her shoes...

So, I’m going to write about some things that have been on my mind lately, things I can do nothing about, things I have to accept for what they are.

Obviously, the weather which  is currently very hot and humid here. I feel very grateful that I have not seen any tornadoes overhead, nor floods in my neighborhood, and I have not had to deal with what parts of Japan are living with right now. I have no reason to complain. 

The number of politicians who have screwed up their lives with adolescent sexual behavior is growing fast. I can now count at least eight. I wonder who’s going to be next.  Governor Mark Sanford’s lying about his extramarital affair has even resulted in a new definition of the phrase, “I was hiking the Appalachian Trail”

Mason, the Alabama dog who was tossed up and away during one of the recent tornadoes, broke both his legs, took three weeks to crawl home to find his owners and is now in rehabilitation. What a show of strength, resilience and most likely a reflection of the attention he received from his family.

The pot-holed streets of New York are in dire need of attention. Left as they are, it is far too dangerous for the ladies in stilettos to cross them. I really don’t know how they can walk anywhere ...maybe I’m just envious, as I couldn’t even sit in them....

Meeting Wendell Potter, the man who blew the whistle on the Healthcare industry’s nasty tricks to stymie positive humanitarian advances. He was head of the team created to specifically discredit Michael Moore’s documentary, “Sicko.” We’re going to talk more, because he needs to attract more attention to his urgent message, in order to save lives.

And then there’s the untimely, too early death of a friend of one of my sons, who spent his elementary years  going in and out of our house, and who grew up to be a powerful  music and theater producer. That’s just too close for comfort.

Looking at this list, I see there’s a sort-of theme: repair and acceptance. Just thoughts.