An Ode to A Cinnamon Roll

Yesterday was my birthday, so, naturally, thoughts of past birthdays and other celebrations came floating by. I can still gleefully see and feel, when I felt most celebrated and loved.
I've spent especially wonderful birth days in Sapporo, Japan, on Isla des Mujeres, Mexico, in Detroit,, Ann Arbor Michigan, in New York, in Kenya, Africa, in Israel and in California.

The day after I always feel a little heart-achy, for another measurable year has come and gone, and I naturally have to account to myself. I bet I am not the only person who does this!

One way I have of giving myself the attention I need to support the accounting, is to discover some comfort food. This helps. Cinnamon rolls are very high on my list, as is Jello, quality chocolate cookies, lamb chops, spaghetti with good tomato sauce - all foods from my childhood. When I got home from elementary school and smelled cinnamon rolls, I knew everything was calm and cool at my house; my mother wanted to bake, and I got a treat. That was a win-win.

I just finished eating one of Starbucks Morning Buns, a fine example of a cinnamon roll.
That was a treat. I guess I'm easy.

Birthdays are really special, for it's simply the day we were born. In my workshops I ask people about this. Some of the stories I've heard are almost unbelievable. Some, who were born near Holidays, have never celebrated their day.

One man who was born on Valentine's Day, now celebrates with huge parties, for the first time. At his childhood home, it was always a national holiday, never his birthday! Another man told me he would never ever eat banana cream cake, again, for his mother baked that for him every single year; it was HER favorite, and she never ever asked him what he wanted. One women knew her father was never home for her birthday, as her father chose to go hunting the first day of the season, which fell on her day. Her mother tried to argue with her in my workshop, but the daughter knew, as she'd lived the pain and the grief of her Dad's leaving that particular day. She felt totally dishonored and abandoned. At least, this adult child really got to tell her mother her truth.

I've given lots of people permission to celebrate, to honor themselves for the day they were born.

I know of lots new birthday celebrators going on around the world. And I still know some who don't want to even know about their birthdays, and I know why, and that's sad for me to hear. Birthdays arrive on time, every year, whether we went them to or not.

So let's pay attention and give ourselves and others the attention we need to mark the day we arrived in our world, hopefully to make it a better place.

Monday Can Be A Perfect Day for Thinking!

It’s one of those Mondays...

It’s a grey day, full of wonderings for me...

Why are so many people, 3 million, following Charlie Sheen on Twitter and buying tickets for his up-coming live national shows? His two in New York at Radio City sold out in 30 minutes...What is he selling? He talks about WINNING, but what is he winning? Are people just eager to see how a celebrity drug addict can continue to hold the public’s attention? Is he a live reality show? What is he offering his audiences?

Meanwhile, in Japan an entire way of life is changing for thousands of people, as everything they’ve loved and owned has been destroyed. They seem to be helping each other survive day to day, which surely is a giant form of winning for them. There’s a generosity of spirit that’s showing up in their daily interactions, that we would be wise to pay attention to. What if...that kind of pervasive tragedy occurred in our country? Would people help each other and share their food and shelter?

What if more people lose their jobs in America? That’s like having a giant personal earth quake here, as families become fractured and can’t maintain their emotional or physical balance and style of living. I've seen and heard more and more personal stories coming from job lay-offs lately, and there doesn't seem to be any cure for this in the near future.

...these thoughts are about how fragile life can become for any of us... I am watching to see how different forms of change effect people and how they choose to survive, I call this "attentive living."

My Japanese Soul Is Hurting Lots These Days.

Whenever I talk about the nine months I spent in Japan, living with a Japanese family, hanging out and working with a Missionary family and absorbing a new culture and a new way of being, I feel as if I'm back in Sapporo again. That time was so super special for me.

And now when I look at the pictures of the devastation that's happening there, I just weep and feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I can't even imagine how changed their lives are going to be.

I've heard back from my Japanese family in Tokyo, who are really alright but shaken up more than they've ever been.
I've asked what I can do. I shall write more about this.

YEA!!! College Kids Speaking Out About SEX and Planned Parenthood's Value!

It's a grey and damp day in New York City and I actually feel likes there's sunshine in my heart.
I just saw a video that college kids from Wesleyan made about their involvement with SEX and the value of Planned Parenthood for them.

Hurray...



Hope it goes viral and gets a billion viewers - it's so real, fun and, yet, serious.
They're speaking out about having SEX...imagine?...or not or wanting to...giggling, smiling, fresh and talking about the services that Planned Parenthood provides: testing, birth control, etc.

We need more young people to shout out messages like this group from Wesleyan, to own what's happening in their world and realize the ramifications of loosing precious services that they have may have been taking for granted and could actually go away.

I think there's an energy building among more people these days - to face what's really happening in our country and how some of the political chaos will personally affect us. We've got to get away from our television sets, our video games, our cell phones to meet with others, to volunteer where we can to help others, to give money when we can...

Oh my, I am beginning to sound like an activist...

Women...and Men...

Yesterday a friend and I went to hear a very prominent French film director speak and show clips from his old films. He was given a handheld microphone, which he buried on his chest, so neither of us could barely hear a word he said. What a waste. Why have they stopped attaching small microphones to peoples jackets?

That's some progress that doesn't seem to work, unless someone shows the speakers exactly where and how to hold the microphone.

The clips, which included a famous Western and World WAR II flick, were all fantastic; now that I've had a taste, I want to see all of them. David Niven was sure a handsome dude, as his plane was going down in flames, while the woman on the airfield was trying to talk him to safety as she was falling in love with him.

At dinner, we discussed the event, which led to further conversation about how men treat women...a natural progression from the movies we'd seen. She asked me about seasonal relationships, which occur when the man wants to ski all winter and play golf all summer, ignoring how the woman feels about his choices. As my friend talked and I listened, she moved from being consumed with him to how she felt about the terms of their relationship. I could see her excitement at finding clarity about why the relationship wasn't working for her.
She concluded that I was a good friend. I gave her the kind of attention she needed - being present,actively listening and re-framing what she'd been struggling over. She told me that I ought to be speaking to bigger audiences.

I could never have predicted how yesterday's "date" would turn out.

Recovery and Appreciation

I have had a two week bout with pneumonia, which I am gratefully through with now.
Why does one have to get sick sometimes to appreciate the treasures of having good health? Today, even when I had to walk a short while in the rain, I loved being out. The streets glistened, the puddles created choices for me – should I go directly in them or around them – the smell of the day indicated to me that Spring is in the air.
I think I am learning to be grateful every day for all the good fortunes I have in my life. I stop to metaphorically smell the various roses more. I am aware of all the sights and sounds I have in my life in New York. I love being in the streets and just watching. I love the different boots that people choose to wear on different weather days. I actually decide the ones I would like to own and sometimes even stop the wearers to ask where they bought them. People are always delighted to tell me. It’s as if I have given their decisions my approval. That’s positive attention, I know.
I love to see all the families out walking together. For years I lived in Los Angeles, where people spend most of their hours outside encased in their cars, unless they descend on the parks or the beaches. There just seems to be more interaction between people here. I feel like I am part of the world here.
I love learning the short cuts around the city, how to go anywhere by public transportation and where I really enjoy the adventure of shopping and stopping for snacks.
I never fail to marvel at the sights I see outside my windows: The lights, the traffic patterns and the sunsets. I could take photos of the sunsets almost every night, for they’re like art pieces evolving right in front of my eyes.
Now that I’m healthy again, I want to take advantage of every moment of every day, even when it means that I am silent for a bit, take the time to breathe and to consider my choices. Perhaps, this is really what happiness means to me – being conscious, being present, being able to make choices and enjoy the moment.

Tomorrow's A National Holiday Celebrating George and My Father's Birthdays.

Tomorrow's a holiday; it's George Washington's birthday and it was also my father's.

I wish that I could have told my dad the exact kind of attention I wanted from him. Who knew? He was a well known and gifted surgeon. But he didn't want to know very much about the business of medicine. He performed miracles, saved patients from losing their sight and gave lots of his time to a free clinic, where he was really the happiest.

He also didn't want to know anything about taking care of minor house hold chores: fixing plugs or any other electrical gadgets around our home. And he didn't think that I needed to know anything he didn't know about or care about. While he did not live long enough to participate in the coming technological revolution, I know he would have participated in it, as he was an inventor of sorts.

He did care about the stock market and would discuss part of his investing with me. He decided one day to invite a stock person from New York to come to our home in Detroit. I asked my dad if this man was rich. He told me that he really didn't know and I ought to ask him when he came to dinner. I was eight. So I did and Anthony G. said, "No." That was the end of the man from New York and a real acknowledgment for me. I felt intuitively smart. That was a real gift from my father to me.

I am sure, however,that my father never thought that his daughter would want to start a business or become a social entrepreneur, which is now a huge challenge for me, one that I am struggling with daily.

I so would have liked him to give me opportunities to earn money for myself. I needed to feel that I was valuable, that my time was valuable and I could support myself, financially. I know that I am not alone in feeling that my earning muscle is far from developed.

I am voicing this now, so other fathers and daughters can realize that the kind of attention we get in our childhoods lives with us forever.