YEA!!! College Kids Speaking Out About SEX and Planned Parenthood's Value!

It's a grey and damp day in New York City and I actually feel likes there's sunshine in my heart.
I just saw a video that college kids from Wesleyan made about their involvement with SEX and the value of Planned Parenthood for them.

Hurray...



Hope it goes viral and gets a billion viewers - it's so real, fun and, yet, serious.
They're speaking out about having SEX...imagine?...or not or wanting to...giggling, smiling, fresh and talking about the services that Planned Parenthood provides: testing, birth control, etc.

We need more young people to shout out messages like this group from Wesleyan, to own what's happening in their world and realize the ramifications of loosing precious services that they have may have been taking for granted and could actually go away.

I think there's an energy building among more people these days - to face what's really happening in our country and how some of the political chaos will personally affect us. We've got to get away from our television sets, our video games, our cell phones to meet with others, to volunteer where we can to help others, to give money when we can...

Oh my, I am beginning to sound like an activist...

Women...and Men...

Yesterday a friend and I went to hear a very prominent French film director speak and show clips from his old films. He was given a handheld microphone, which he buried on his chest, so neither of us could barely hear a word he said. What a waste. Why have they stopped attaching small microphones to peoples jackets?

That's some progress that doesn't seem to work, unless someone shows the speakers exactly where and how to hold the microphone.

The clips, which included a famous Western and World WAR II flick, were all fantastic; now that I've had a taste, I want to see all of them. David Niven was sure a handsome dude, as his plane was going down in flames, while the woman on the airfield was trying to talk him to safety as she was falling in love with him.

At dinner, we discussed the event, which led to further conversation about how men treat women...a natural progression from the movies we'd seen. She asked me about seasonal relationships, which occur when the man wants to ski all winter and play golf all summer, ignoring how the woman feels about his choices. As my friend talked and I listened, she moved from being consumed with him to how she felt about the terms of their relationship. I could see her excitement at finding clarity about why the relationship wasn't working for her.
She concluded that I was a good friend. I gave her the kind of attention she needed - being present,actively listening and re-framing what she'd been struggling over. She told me that I ought to be speaking to bigger audiences.

I could never have predicted how yesterday's "date" would turn out.

Recovery and Appreciation

I have had a two week bout with pneumonia, which I am gratefully through with now.
Why does one have to get sick sometimes to appreciate the treasures of having good health? Today, even when I had to walk a short while in the rain, I loved being out. The streets glistened, the puddles created choices for me – should I go directly in them or around them – the smell of the day indicated to me that Spring is in the air.
I think I am learning to be grateful every day for all the good fortunes I have in my life. I stop to metaphorically smell the various roses more. I am aware of all the sights and sounds I have in my life in New York. I love being in the streets and just watching. I love the different boots that people choose to wear on different weather days. I actually decide the ones I would like to own and sometimes even stop the wearers to ask where they bought them. People are always delighted to tell me. It’s as if I have given their decisions my approval. That’s positive attention, I know.
I love to see all the families out walking together. For years I lived in Los Angeles, where people spend most of their hours outside encased in their cars, unless they descend on the parks or the beaches. There just seems to be more interaction between people here. I feel like I am part of the world here.
I love learning the short cuts around the city, how to go anywhere by public transportation and where I really enjoy the adventure of shopping and stopping for snacks.
I never fail to marvel at the sights I see outside my windows: The lights, the traffic patterns and the sunsets. I could take photos of the sunsets almost every night, for they’re like art pieces evolving right in front of my eyes.
Now that I’m healthy again, I want to take advantage of every moment of every day, even when it means that I am silent for a bit, take the time to breathe and to consider my choices. Perhaps, this is really what happiness means to me – being conscious, being present, being able to make choices and enjoy the moment.

Tomorrow's A National Holiday Celebrating George and My Father's Birthdays.

Tomorrow's a holiday; it's George Washington's birthday and it was also my father's.

I wish that I could have told my dad the exact kind of attention I wanted from him. Who knew? He was a well known and gifted surgeon. But he didn't want to know very much about the business of medicine. He performed miracles, saved patients from losing their sight and gave lots of his time to a free clinic, where he was really the happiest.

He also didn't want to know anything about taking care of minor house hold chores: fixing plugs or any other electrical gadgets around our home. And he didn't think that I needed to know anything he didn't know about or care about. While he did not live long enough to participate in the coming technological revolution, I know he would have participated in it, as he was an inventor of sorts.

He did care about the stock market and would discuss part of his investing with me. He decided one day to invite a stock person from New York to come to our home in Detroit. I asked my dad if this man was rich. He told me that he really didn't know and I ought to ask him when he came to dinner. I was eight. So I did and Anthony G. said, "No." That was the end of the man from New York and a real acknowledgment for me. I felt intuitively smart. That was a real gift from my father to me.

I am sure, however,that my father never thought that his daughter would want to start a business or become a social entrepreneur, which is now a huge challenge for me, one that I am struggling with daily.

I so would have liked him to give me opportunities to earn money for myself. I needed to feel that I was valuable, that my time was valuable and I could support myself, financially. I know that I am not alone in feeling that my earning muscle is far from developed.

I am voicing this now, so other fathers and daughters can realize that the kind of attention we get in our childhoods lives with us forever.

Dr. Temple Grandin's Story Is All About Attention

I recently saw the movie about the autistic Dr. Temple Grandin. I had known about her and her amazing work with cows and how they were led to be dipped and ultimately to be slaughtered. Because Temple is so gifted visually and can work out everything in her mind, the creative team gave the audience many examples of how she could actually see things we could not. Claire Danes was terrific as Temple.

Fortunately for Temple, her mother never gave up mainstreaming her, special teachers became her mentors and defenders, her roommate in college was a blind woman who gave Temple the kind of companionship and acceptance she needed. These positive attention-givers counter-acted the continuing negative attention she got from her peers, from the men who were established in the animal husbandry industry and from the rules which excluded her and her mental gifts.

There's been such an increasing number of autistic children born lately, Temple has become a spokesperson for the public's need to realize that autistic kids can grow up to use their special kinds of thinking to make real differences and contributions in many industries.

Special kinds of attention must be paid to bring these kids safely through their childhoods and into their adult lives.

Today is the annual day for loving!?!

Today is February 14th, Valentine's Day. It occurs every year! And it seems to become more commercialized every year. The cards and red hearts are everywhere - in the candy shops, the party shops, drug stores, grocery stores, pet shops, jewelry stores, department stores --- begging for our attention and requests to buy them.

Have you seen this year's red satin pillows with words of love embroidered on them?

My thoughts for the day:
Why does a day for love have to be only one day a year?

It doesn't really matter whether we think of self-love, being selfish, or giving ourselves the kind of attention we need...we have to be good to ourselves before we can be good to others.

Being selfish has gotten a bad rap, for it really is all about our learning to take care of ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves and expect others to do it for us, we often are disappointed, get angry and withdraw from the other. This kind of behavior certainly doesn't work for anyone.

When we tell people that we love them and, yet, treat them unkindly, or thoughtlessly, or disrespectfully, we really are not loving them at all. I have heard so many stories about this; I think we all have to give it some thought. Count the different ways you love people --- by returning phone calls appropriately, by being conscious of listening and not interrupting when you're in a conversation, by putting your cell phone away when you're sharing time with someone, by acknowledging support or gifts we receive we receive from others.


Decide how you want to be loved so you can tell others; then make sure you discover how others around you want to be loved. It's not the same for everyone.

Try making your own card this year announcing to those special people in your life that you are going to love them all year the way they need/want to be loved. If they haven't told you, ask them!

Be your lovig self today and everyday.

Our Kids Deserve Valentines Every Day!!!

There are too many headlines in today's papers about the escalating amount of stress which our kids are exhibiting. I see articles about the percentage of college kids who are on meds for stress relief. I see news that New York State high school graduates don't have the skills they need to survive at college. That's the bad news. And there is some good news. There a program surfacing in elementary school that's been created to teach young kids how to handle the stress that they're facing in their early lives today, as their parents loose their jobs and the family starts wondering if they have to move.

First comes awareness, then comes action which leads to solutions. The earlier the programs start, the more experience kids get in handling their stress, the stronger and healthier they can can become with taking meds. Older, experienced kids can mentor younger kids. What a concept.

Why did I title this, " Our kids deserve Valentines every day." Well, our most commercial holiday ever will be here in just three days. All kids know what valentines are and they want lots. The more they get, the more popular they feel. And sometimes they even get to eat them, the chocolate and candy hearts.

Valentines are also supposed to show that someone cares about them. That's what all the advertising says. So, perhaps if we let our kids know everyday somehow that we do care about them by giving them the kind of attention they need, we can prevent the amount of stress in their lives.

We can be more available to them. We can turn off our televisions, our blackberries and our computers. We can read with them, play with them, walk with them, build castles with them, we can cook together - anything that involves our spending time together and doing something creative together. We can listen to them. We can really watch them play.
By choosing to be consciously attentive, we can extend Valentine's Day from a one day event to an everyday event and watch our kids thrive as they get that we really do care about them!