Dr. Temple Grandin's Story Is All About Attention

I recently saw the movie about the autistic Dr. Temple Grandin. I had known about her and her amazing work with cows and how they were led to be dipped and ultimately to be slaughtered. Because Temple is so gifted visually and can work out everything in her mind, the creative team gave the audience many examples of how she could actually see things we could not. Claire Danes was terrific as Temple.

Fortunately for Temple, her mother never gave up mainstreaming her, special teachers became her mentors and defenders, her roommate in college was a blind woman who gave Temple the kind of companionship and acceptance she needed. These positive attention-givers counter-acted the continuing negative attention she got from her peers, from the men who were established in the animal husbandry industry and from the rules which excluded her and her mental gifts.

There's been such an increasing number of autistic children born lately, Temple has become a spokesperson for the public's need to realize that autistic kids can grow up to use their special kinds of thinking to make real differences and contributions in many industries.

Special kinds of attention must be paid to bring these kids safely through their childhoods and into their adult lives.

Today is the annual day for loving!?!

Today is February 14th, Valentine's Day. It occurs every year! And it seems to become more commercialized every year. The cards and red hearts are everywhere - in the candy shops, the party shops, drug stores, grocery stores, pet shops, jewelry stores, department stores --- begging for our attention and requests to buy them.

Have you seen this year's red satin pillows with words of love embroidered on them?

My thoughts for the day:
Why does a day for love have to be only one day a year?

It doesn't really matter whether we think of self-love, being selfish, or giving ourselves the kind of attention we need...we have to be good to ourselves before we can be good to others.

Being selfish has gotten a bad rap, for it really is all about our learning to take care of ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves and expect others to do it for us, we often are disappointed, get angry and withdraw from the other. This kind of behavior certainly doesn't work for anyone.

When we tell people that we love them and, yet, treat them unkindly, or thoughtlessly, or disrespectfully, we really are not loving them at all. I have heard so many stories about this; I think we all have to give it some thought. Count the different ways you love people --- by returning phone calls appropriately, by being conscious of listening and not interrupting when you're in a conversation, by putting your cell phone away when you're sharing time with someone, by acknowledging support or gifts we receive we receive from others.


Decide how you want to be loved so you can tell others; then make sure you discover how others around you want to be loved. It's not the same for everyone.

Try making your own card this year announcing to those special people in your life that you are going to love them all year the way they need/want to be loved. If they haven't told you, ask them!

Be your lovig self today and everyday.

Our Kids Deserve Valentines Every Day!!!

There are too many headlines in today's papers about the escalating amount of stress which our kids are exhibiting. I see articles about the percentage of college kids who are on meds for stress relief. I see news that New York State high school graduates don't have the skills they need to survive at college. That's the bad news. And there is some good news. There a program surfacing in elementary school that's been created to teach young kids how to handle the stress that they're facing in their early lives today, as their parents loose their jobs and the family starts wondering if they have to move.

First comes awareness, then comes action which leads to solutions. The earlier the programs start, the more experience kids get in handling their stress, the stronger and healthier they can can become with taking meds. Older, experienced kids can mentor younger kids. What a concept.

Why did I title this, " Our kids deserve Valentines every day." Well, our most commercial holiday ever will be here in just three days. All kids know what valentines are and they want lots. The more they get, the more popular they feel. And sometimes they even get to eat them, the chocolate and candy hearts.

Valentines are also supposed to show that someone cares about them. That's what all the advertising says. So, perhaps if we let our kids know everyday somehow that we do care about them by giving them the kind of attention they need, we can prevent the amount of stress in their lives.

We can be more available to them. We can turn off our televisions, our blackberries and our computers. We can read with them, play with them, walk with them, build castles with them, we can cook together - anything that involves our spending time together and doing something creative together. We can listen to them. We can really watch them play.
By choosing to be consciously attentive, we can extend Valentine's Day from a one day event to an everyday event and watch our kids thrive as they get that we really do care about them!

Miracles are abounding, for which I am so very grateful!

Buses show up as soon as I get to the bus stop.
Gorgeous sunsets keep showing up right over my computer in my office.
New friends keep introducing me to people who now want to support my work.
I have had three wonderful visits with my sons and a fine visit with my ex-step son.
I shall be forever grateful to The Universe for my decision to move from Los Angeles to New York.
I am recruiting people to help me create my 2011 business plan.
I have discovered that people really do want to listen to what I have to say.
I have been led to the finest healers in my new home.
My intuitive powers are on and working extremely well for me.
Happiness is being written all over me.

Where does the time go between holidays?

It seems like last week was Haloween, which I love as it was my most favorite holiday, when I was a kid. I could run in the streets around my home in Detroit and no one could follow me in the dark. I remember the feelings of freedom I had. I didn't even like the candy that much.

Then it was Thanksgiving. That was a great holiday for me also, as family gathered together on that day. I was an only child, so I really enjoyed having my cousins, aunts and uncles and grandmother around. I still love homemade cranberry sauce with everything.

And now it's almost Christmas, which has literally lit up New York. The city is full of all colors of twinkling lights and wonderfully decorated store windows, lots of visitors and sale signs everywhere. I like the lights best of all.

The way I celebrate Christmas is very different these days, as I don't send out many cards or buy many gifts. I will send out an e-mail message, and I am gifting people with some of the things I've collected through the years and either don't use or want anymore. Choosing to let go of some of my things really feels good, as I know I am giving them a new life.

I think I shall do some quiet spiritual celebrating around the New Year... I have high intentions on that. I shall share that closer to 2011 --- who can believe date?

Time to talk about attention again!

I haven't written for a very long time.
I can't remember when, exactly. I just know that attention is alive and well all around the world. I was recently in Madrid at the request of a lovely young architect, whom I met in Los Angeles and who lives there. Andres asked me, when he heard that I was going on a cruise from Venice to Barcelona, to come to his city for two days, so he could show me around. I went.

We walked his city, choosing to see his favorite buildings and spaces. He taught me the rituals of enjoying  Spanish cuisine. He introduced me to the friends he thought I' like to meet - I did. He took me to street gatherings for Fashion Week. People in Madrid take advantage of their city by walking it almost 24/7.  He gave me his apartment to stay in, while he went elsewhere to sleep. We rode the buses and the subways. His hosting was the absolute finest kind of attention I could ever have. He was present with me all the while, even though occasionally he had to answer his cell phone. While he had clients to call and work with, I went to two museums, which are totally fantastic there.

Andres' city, Madrid,  is a true gem. It needs visitors and we need it for its art, culture and way of life.

The ship I chose, also had its special brand of attention. There were staff from all around the world, almost like a small United Nations. They were all working together, attentively. They soon knew our names and if we had any special needs for anything. I met young people from Romania, Peru, The Philippines, Lithuania, Bali, Canada - all of whom were seeing the world for themselves.

My memories of those fourteen days away remain vividly etched in my memory bank to be pulled out at will and enjoyed again.

Marching Along

Finally, I am writing again, which feels so good.

I have reinvented my life!!! I moved to New York to my dream home in November.

Miracles keep abounding. The grandson of the Lanes, the Missionary couple who treated me so generously, while I lived in Sapporo, Japan as a young bride/expectant mother, found me through the Huffington Post article I wrote on Thanksgiving 2007...I'd been asking The Universe forever how I could find any family members, as I hadn't been in touch for decades...can you imagine the feelings I had when I saw the Lanes' name in my In-Box? We've become e-mail pals and I can hardly wait to meet him.

I am launching my new book, Attention: Secrets for Making It in College and Beyond, in August. It's 56 pages of vital info for kids about why and how attention works...parents tell me what they wish they'd had it, before they went off to college.


This is a dashing blog today...more to follow.